This Month in Melbourne
So, we are settled in and it feels right. It often drizzles in Melbourne and I have noticed on a damp evening with the neon and the streetlights reflecting off the wet pavement that the never-ending wagon train of food delivery ebikes emerging out of the shadows bears a strong resemblance to the scenes in Ridley Scott’s movie Bladerunner. It is very cool. I have realised that part of the reason I love living here is that as well as being Melbourne you can also see other times and other places in the streets. Fitzroy and Collingwood can stand in for neighbourhoods like Williamsburg in Brooklyn or SOHO. Some streets in East Melbourne look so Edwardian London it isn’t funny.
Some parts of the Mornington Peninsula coast could be Northern California and Richmond could be many places because it changes so much in a few blocks. Streets look different when it is 38 degrees and the hot northerly wind is blowing. The back streets of car repair yards and warehouses become East LA and when it is twelve degrees and the leaves caught in the chilly wind rush down the streets then the parks look like France or Germany.
It is summer so the public swimming pools are very busy. Melbourne has quite a few historical baths aka pools. The Fitzroy Pool, a 1908 icon which featured in Helen Garner’s classic 70s book about Fitzroy share houses and love struck junkies “Monkey Grip” is a cracker and half a k away. Community action in the 90s prevented the council from closing it, thank the people; the shortsightedness of politicians never ceases to amaze me. You got to love a pool that has a wsign that warns “Aqua Profonda” a real sign of Melbourne’s multi-cultural heritage. Back in the 70s I wonder if there was the mix of young families and mums with prams, tanned and tattooed young hard bods and us grumpy and grey lap swimmers that there is today.
I have been to more drinking holes of course. The Workers Club Hotel [extremely popular with the young “uns” on a Monday night], the Fitzroy Beer Garden, the famous Esplanade Hotel St Kilda, now heavily renovated and very nice but just a ghost of its 80s and 90s rock and roll heyday. Nothing stays the same forever.
Or in a way it does. I saw my mate Phil and his band Hillsborough play at The Old Bar, a miniature Espy throwback if ever there was one, sticky carpet, live bands and a crowd for whom anti-smoking and safe drinking health messages are just white noise. Definitely a highlight of the month.
Pride march was a classic too. Thousands of people having a fun time in closed off Smith and Gertrude streets and as we were trapped in there by the road closures, I spent a few hours on the Sunday listening to music I don’t like and drinking $10 Negronis which were on offer from every second Café/ bar /pub in the strip. I expected more outrageousness, but I must admit I was home in bed when festivities were no doubt peaking, plus I couldn’t shake the feeling I was just being voyeuristic anyway.
A lot of people have asked me, “What about surfing?’ Depending on what they know about me and this noble pastime I point out that there are plenty of waves in Victoria and the drive from Melbourne is more or less the same as the drive from Brisbane and yes, it is much colder some of the time but that is why wetsuits were invented.
For those who are more attuned to the surfing life I am more honest. I wrote about my changing feelings about the pastime I love in a blog a while ago see https://www.chestbeatingbyword.com/home/2021/2/20/what-would-you-do
and I admit it is not as big a deal in my life as it was. It happens to almost all of us surfers some time I guess. But I was eager to give the Urbnsurf wave pool at Tullamarine a try. Just to say I had done it if for no other reason. I’ve now been twice in the last month and for me right up to the moment when you paddle for a wave it bears only a passing resemblance to surfing as I have enjoyed it. Given I am on the wrong side of sixty and my surf fitness is in drastic decline I thought I would give the easiest setting,” Cruiser Mode” a try. Basically I thought I was going to have a relaxing time for one hour catching some waist/stomach high waves much like First Point Noosa. The waves were like that [less the length of ride] but nothing else was.
I struggled badly. I got there late for the briefing, had no lunch, was distracted as it had been a busy day at work. I wasn’t mentally prepared for the differences and was simultaneously overwhelmed and unimpressed. Think about it. You must book a time [a week or more in advance if you can’t get there during working hours], check in, follow procedures, paddle out on the siren in line, wait your turn, paddle hard, stand up here. It is all concrete and pool wall, the water is different, less buoyant not salty. Cruiser mode waves are easy to catch on a Softech Mal but not on a kneeboard. I wasn’t paddling hard enough and kept falling off the back of the wave. I started to get frustrated and of course all that paddling and no catching was wearing me out faster than marathon runner’s shoes. There is no rest, no sitting out the back chatting and at one stage with twenty minutes to go I was waving guys past in the short paddle back to the takeoff. But when I finally caught one and/or not fell off it was fun. The last ten minutes I even did a turn or two. But when I had finished the hour I was exhausted and felt that I had precious little to show for my money. I literally felt like I was learning all over again.
No Soul surfing here, this was surfing as sport, more like a footy game or a tennis match not a pastime or a way of life. So the second time I was prepared. The hour session started at 7.00pm so I made sure I ate a proper lunch, I hydrated, ate a banana, got there early, observed, stretched. I treated it as a serious sporting event and everything clicked. I nailed every take off, I was mentally and physically prepared for the nonstop movement and being an experienced surfer, I started to really look at the wave and work out where it packed the most push. Instead of surfing like a deer in the headlights I pumped the board, did turns, rode the whole wave, just about every wave as far as I could go. I came out of the water the second time not just exhausted but also on a huge high. That might sound funny for an experienced surfer cruising on stomach high waves but the experience was so weird the first time I was afraid that I was seeing an ugly end to my surfing life. Instead, I am fired up and looking to go up to the next level next time. Cruiser Mode is powerful enough for mals and fish and the next level adds another foot or so in size and punch. I haven’t seen it but expert level must be intense as the bottom is shallow and the wave must pitch square. Helmets are optional and free for all levels which tells you something. The rides are short but basically it is a fun beach break turning more ledgy the bigger it gets.
Yes, it is expensive and the additional benefits of being in the natural environment are absent but everyone is really friendly and no one pushes in. You don’t have to as there are plenty of waves for anyone but the most hyperactive supergrom. It might not be for every surfer but for me and a lot of other Melbourne surfers it is a lot closer than the ocean. I don’t think it would ever replace the ocean for a surfer in their prime but for surfers at either end of their journey and for training or fitness purposes I think it is pretty damn good and more than a novelty day trip.
Photo by Lennon Cheng on Unsplash
