Don’t worry about the Elderly Dying In a Global Pandemic, The NRL Might Go Belly Up

I am starting to think that Australia is not happy unless we have some alleged existentialist threat to freak out about. Despite all the claims to the contrary the waves of immigration over the decades have not ruined “our” way of life [whatever the hell that means]. Quite the opposite. Legalising gay marriage didn’t end our way of life either.

Now apparently the very latest thing that threatens our way of life is not even the Corona virus, which to some Australians seems to be more of an danger  to our god given right to wipe our bums with purpose built paper than our general health.  The latest threat is apparently that the National Rugby League might go broke unless it can continue playing games in front of spectators.

Amongst the claims from the NRL Chairman is that rugby league is woven deeply into the fabric of Australian life and if we can’t watch it we will apparently, totally and utterly lose our shit and Australia as we know it is over. And the government should be considering offering the NRL financial assistance accordingly.

The Corona virus is obviously shaking us up and yes it is serious. And things are going to be weird for quite a while and some things will not be the same again.

But generally the information flow and communications around the whole event have been good and I have to admit SCOMO sure learnt his bushfire lesson and is bringing his government’s A game to this crisis. Still there has been some conspiracy theory bullshit, selfishness and mild panic around, but this stuff from the NRL is surely the worst to date. I know Australia has an obsession with sport but give me a break.

For Fucks Sake! Here is an organisation that is a $500million a year business and according to their last financial report, carrying a $30 million surplus, putting their hand out for help.

Secondly the concept that rugby league is central to our way of life is bullshit. Certainly for some but just for starters there are three states and a territory of Australia who overwhelmingly support another code called AFL and in those states the NRL does not even have a club.

You could mount a convincing argument that AFL is better supported nationally anyway so if that was the criteria and the government was crazy enough to get involved in this rubbish they should support the AFL.

 And what about all the other codes like the netball, the soccer, the basketball, cricket etc. Don’t they have a claim too if the NRL does? Hell I have been a keen surfer all my life. On any day I would rather surf than watch a rugby league game or any sport for that matter. Can surfing have some money too?*

 I know that the NRL does have a large knock on effect in terms of indirectly providing employment to lots of workers and the self-employed but so what? They aren’t special in this either. So does the AFL. What about horseracing? Or for that matter so does the art and entertainment industry with cinemas, music venues, art galleries, live theatre etc. Organisations that get nowhere near the level of assistance that organised traditional sports already get in our sports crazy land.

Here is an idea. If things are going to go that bad that quickly for the NRL maybe the entire executive and all the players should fix their salaries for this year at say $150,000. Obviously that is still a very comfortable yearly wage, certainly well above the average wage of the average fan. That might be a good place to start instead of the begging campaign they have embarked on.

This morning I was very happy to see that SCOMO basically told the NRL to pull their heads in although their CEO was still winding up the” fuck we are essential help us” rhetoric. I reckon this is similar to the run on the necessities in our supermarkets. Stupid, selfish behaviour from certain entities with not enough regard for others and/or exaggerated sense of self-importance.

And it’s not just Rugby League. I can also see it is only a matter of time before the Australian Rugby Union will go to the government looking for money as well. Here is the game supposedly supported by the big business end of town happy to take profits when things go well but run to the taxpayer when things go bad. Maybe they might want to think about why they teeter on the brink of failure.  In a competitive market maybe their product is of less interest to the consumer and that like any business in that situation they either need to get their offer right or shut it down. If you want to be a professional sport, you got to be able to cop the ups and the downs. Besides the government already pork barrelled all the sports grants away to help them win the election so they might be shit out of luck anyway.

*My old board riding club, North Shore Boardriders just won the national teams challenge title so they are flush with cash at the moment. Sporting organisations, give them a call if you need a loan. But expect to pay interest. They are not the government. 

Seven songs about sport and/or money

Up There Cazaly –Mike Brady - Aussie Rules anthem best sung/heard when you are very young

Simply The Best – Tina Turner - Never understood the appeal myself

Cmon Aussie Cmon –MoJo - As a jingle it is fine art, as a song not so much

Opportunities – The Pet Shop Boys – nicely cynical as you would expect

Money – The Flying Pickets – surprise robotic hit of an old Motown tune, gets right to the point

Money Changes Everything – Cyndi Lauper – For me her best work

Money - Pink Floyd –45 million album sales later the appeal is diminished by over exposure but right on the mark lyrically and superbly played and produced. Surely Dave Gilmour is the most underrated of the 70s big guitarists