Welcome to Melbourne

 Most of you know that the True Artist and I have moved to Melbourne to do Melbourne things all the time. We have lived there before and we think its inner-city life is second to none in Australia.  So, after a roller coaster two months here is an update. First let’s tick off the fucking obvious so we can move on. Yes the weather is changeable but it’s not Siberia. It doesn’t snow FFS. Most of the big cities of the world have four seasons although admittedly it is only Melbourne who does all four in one day. So why does everyone look at me like I am crazy when I say I have come from Queensland. I honestly don’t understand why people write off or embrace living in a particular city seemingly based only on how much the sun shines.

But given on any summer’s day here the maximum could be anywhere between 20 or 40 degrees and it might or might not rain you do need to be and flexible with plans and wardrobe.

Here is why we are here. Where we live now I can access a gym, a barista coffee or a tap drawn beer literally within two minutes’ walk. Within ten minutes the range opens to dozens of food and beverage options, including seven pubs!, three tram lines plus two supermarkets, council library, art galleries, swimming pool, book shops, record and furniture stores, op shops and two big green spaces.  With walking, the pushie and trams a car is not needed and given the heavy local traffic and parking restrictions it can be a pain in the arse a lot of the time. You would expect a degree of night noise given where we now live but despite the closeness of the action we found a surprisingly quiet location. You do have to be careful as the main roads in the area are always busy. For a short while we rented above a major intersection and copped late night drag racing, tram noise, the ticking of the pedestrian walk signal, horns etc. So far the only problem is a car alarm which seems to go off every Saturday night 3 or 4 times. I swear it is the same car.

Of course, Melbourne is obsessed with food and drink and the latest trends and I admit I am no expert but it seems wine bars serving food and amateurs operating a small restaurant out of your home are hot. Sandwiches seem to have replaced Korean Fried Chicken as the hot takeaway food and Limoncello Spritzes are big. Places come and go quickly so if a place doesn’t click in the neighbourhood dreams are shattered. Unfortunately, since I can take or leave Chicken Parmas I can’t participate in Melbourne’s endless debate about which pubs serve the best examples.

I have also tried Lune croissants that people queue early in the mornings, out the door and down the street for as they are made to a special process and recipe invented by a former female Formula One racing Engineer. – no shit. The preparation area is behind glass so it is like watching minions make microchips while you wait for in line. They were very good croissants but I don’t need a show with my breakfast pastries.

Melbourne’s old inner-city pubs are legendary. They each have their own vibe and many specialise e.g. The Tote is a classic hard core music pub playing punk and metal, The Rainbow does folk and soul, The Builders Arms is upmarket pub grub, The Peel is a Gay icon, The Rose is all about sport and very very few of the pubs have pokies. No matter what you are looking for on any night of the week there will be a pub in inner city Melbourne hosting it.

So far I have partaken in the following.

The Standard – classic old school front bar and great beer garden

The Great Northern – very dog friendly and massive range of beers

Goldies – back streets of Collingwood and home to my TGBC chapter -look it up

Builders’ Arms - classy pub grub

Union Club hotel - bloody close, lots of different areas, good jukebox, has a fireplace!

And some cool wine and beer bars like Jimmy Watson’s, Rosella, Bahama Gold, Naked For Satan, Her, and restaurants like Anada, Figlia, Tipo 00. None further than a fifteen-minute tram ride.

All this and we have coped with moving, partially unpacking, bidding at two auctions, repacking, moving, unpacking again, fitting in the Girl child who has joined us for a time, the artist trying to find a studio to work in and me going to work to pay for it all.

We have only begun.

Photo by Gabriel Tan on Unsplash

Six Melbourne Songs

She Set Fire to the House - Stephen Cummings

Balwyn Calling - Skyhooks

Depreston - Courtney Barnett

Running With The Hurricane - Camp Cope

Greg! the Stop Sign - TISM

Piranha - I Spit On Your Gravy