The Beginning

Traditionally on the first night of the camping weekend, the adults stay up late drinking, talking and playing cards. Once the kids have gone to bed, they share some joints, careful to breathe the smoke and distinctive smell out across the calm bay. The camp site, reserved annually, sits at the furthest extreme of the campground, on the edge of the dunes beside the path to the stairs to the beach.

Around eleven, Lloyd takes a walk down the stairs and along the beach looking for a place to urinate on the packed sand at the high tide mark. The amenities block is much further away from their campsite than the beach and Lloyd is of the opinion that on a fine night there is no better way to relieve oneself than in the open air, feeling the breeze on your back while looking at the stars. His wife Anita likes to call it Lloyd’s “One Lone Act of Rebellion.”

Lloyd is halfway done when a woman appears, walking towards him out of the semi-darkness. From her long hair whipping in the breeze, he knows it’s Nick’s partner Marissa. His flow is too strong to stop. Lloyd hesitates but really has no choice other than to yell out, ‘Pissing here!’

There is a giggle and Marissa answers, ‘I know. I can hear and see you perfectly well.’  Her words are slurred. ‘It’s ok though. I am now averting my eyes.’

Marissa veers away from him to the foot of the dune where the grass runners fall down the sandy slope and attempt to colonise the beach proper. Then some fifteen metres away and side-by-side with Lloyd, she sweeps up her skirts and with a practiced squat, joins him in soaking the dry sand with the aftermath of the evening drinks.

Lloyd does not know what to make of this and it fills his mind later when he tries to sleep. His previous encounters with Marissa have been brief over the last few hours, limited to a conversation about their children’s quirks while washing the dishes at one of the communal sinks and a half-drunk discussion about the merits of The Foo Fighters during dinner.

‘Too bloody far to walk to the toilet block.’ Marissa says as she straightens up.

Lloyd says nothing and then immediately feels guilty about possibly being seen as not supporting equal opportunity in outdoor pissing. So he turns away and finishes. When he turns back, Marissa is waiting for him so they can walk back together. Lloyd glances along the dunes but there is no escape. He has no choice but to accompany her.

Marissa chatters then falls into him when she sways as they climb the steep stairs back to the camping ground. The card game is still in progress around the long trestle table that serves as the centrepiece of the camp and they arrive back to a chorus of inebriated boos and laughter as Mateus, husband to Cathy, claims another Uno victory.

No one notices their simultaneous return and Lloyd is convinced that Marissa orchestrated the whole episode.

 The next morning there are no further signals from Marissa. Lloyd berates himself for being so stupid but he feels different, as if something entered him while he slept. Somehow he feels heavier.

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Lloyd, his wife Anita, and Mateus and Cathy have been the core of the last summer long weekend, camping ritual for over ten years. Marissa and Nick are new, brought into the fold through their twin boys, who are school friends of Mateus and Cathy’s boy.

Later over lunch of grilled fresh fish, homemade Greek salad and white wine all agree with Anita when she says, ‘This could be one of our nicest days ever.’ 

The day is sunny, calm and scented with eucalypt. Cathy smiles and waves her empty wine glass at Lloyd. ‘Only a refill would make it better. If you will be so kind, Lloyd.’

Nick and Marissa are quieter. Lloyd suspects they are feeling the effects of the night before and he feels Marissa’s eyes on him as he refills everyone’s glasses.

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That evening around the table, Marissa picks up and runs with any of the topics that bounce round but starts no new conversations until she asks, ‘Hey, tomorrow, does anyone want to swim out and back to the boats anchored in the bay?’

Lloyd waits to see who answers and hopes a couple of the teenagers or maybe Cathy might volunteer and then he will. But sunburnt and full of barbecued sausages, everyone keeps silent. Mateus and Cathy look horrified at the thought of organised exercise and when Mateus musters a slightly sarcastic, ‘Hell no!’ and brings out the Uno cards, the idea is forgotten. Sitting across from Marissa, Lloyd sees a scowl flit across her face, but she smiles when she looks at him.

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Everyone is at the rock pools that have been refreshed with the high tide. From the beach, the closest boat is a hundred metres away. The afternoon is hot and still.

Marissa jumps up. ‘All right, I’m going for that boat swim now. Last chance for joiners.’ She looks at everyone before finally stopping at Lloyd.

‘Come on, Lloyd. I dare you.’

Lloyd starts to get up immediately then stops and looks at Nick to gauge his reaction but he has his back to him. Anita lies on the sand beside the rock pools with her hat over her face. She doesn’t seem to have heard. Feeling the weight in him shift as if a prop has been kicked out Lloyd says, ‘Fair enough.’ 

He climbs out of the pool and walks into the colder water of the bay. 

Lloyd and Marissa swim to the motorboat. It floats anchored, battened down and crewless in the lee of the headland. Marissa tall, lean and a regular swimmer of laps in her local pool, soon pulls ahead of Lloyd. He falls in behind and keeps close by concentrating on the arousing bob and sway of Marissa’s buttocks visible in the clear water beyond the churning of her kicking, narrow feet.

Suddenly, about halfway to the boat, Lloyd feels that something in the water is going to grab him and drag him under. The feeling is so strong that he stops swimming and jerkily dog paddles in a circle looking for shadows in the water. He almost yells at Marissa to stop and to suggest that they maybe they go back. But she won’t hear him. He looks to the shore but no one is paying any attention. He swims on.

When Lloyd looks up again, the boat is close. It is big but Lloyd knows nothing about boats, and he can only think how it somehow looks both expensive and cheap. Marissa is already climbing on to a flat platform at the boat’s rear.

 ‘Hey,’ Lloyd yells, ‘don’t think you should be getting up on there!’ He knows he sounds like he is talking to his daughter. ‘No captain to ask permission to come aboard by the look of it!’

Marissa stands on the platform and gives Lloyd a full smile. Standing upright with the sun behind her, water streaming down her marble skin, her black one-piece togs highlighting her broad shoulders and boyish hips she looks like a winning Olympian.

He feels the weight in him shift further before breast stroking over to the back of the boat. The platform is facing south, diagonally away from the rock pools on the beach and looking around he realises that no one on the shore can see them.

Marissa looks down at him for a few seconds and gestures.

‘This up here is called the stern. It’s not like we are going to break in. Plus it’s nice to have some privacy.’

Then Marissa lifts the straps of her one piece off her shoulders, peels her togs down her long torso before stepping out of them and discarding them like a banana skin. She stands still for a few seconds and then bends and offers her hand to Lloyd. Lloyd sees his hand reach up and grasp her long fingers. He feels like he is sinking but he climbs aboard easily. 

Marissa doesn’t let go of Lloyd’s hand but instead places it on her bony hip where the skin is cool and goose bumped. Without a word she leans in and kisses his lips. Her hands land on his shoulders and push down.

The push breaks whatever has been holding the internal weight and Lloyd collapses. He closes his eyes and keeps them closed until the end. It cannot, does not take long.

When they are finished, Lloyd stands and looks around. He wonders if the boat rocked enough that it was visible from the shore. He wonders whether his wishes have always been this obvious, for all to see for the whole of his life.

To the south is the empty beach. The sun seems far lower in the west and from the east Lloyd hears the voices of his family and friends but they are filtered and faint. Behind him is the motorboat’s two-story cabin. Lloyd is amazed at its size and looking up he sees a small security camera is mounted high; a small light winks at him beside the dark well of its lens.

Lloyd turns to speak but instead stares as Marissa draws her legs up and together before standing and pulling her togs on. They mould again around her straights and creases.

Lloyd points and her gaze follows his finger to the security camera. The scowl crosses her face again. The look could be annoyance or contempt. Lloyd feels completely transparent to her, but he does not know what the look means. She shrugs and laughs.

 ‘Camera couldn’t see us behind the transom, Lloyd.’

Lloyd doesn’t know what a transom is, his groin is sticky, he wants to tell her how now he does not want this, not really, not anymore, but he is still doing up the drawstring on his shorts and trying to form words when Marissa dives off the platform and starts swimming back to the beach. Taking a deep breath and hoping he doesn’t sink like a stone, Lloyd follows.

Photo by jesse orrico on Unsplash