Knock Knock

He is actually hopping from foot to foot with excitement.  I have never seen that with Archie until today. Well I have seen it once before but that was not from excitement. That time he was actually busting to pee and the hopping seemed to ease the feeling until it didn’t.

The hopping makes me look at his school shoes, already scuffed and dirty despite being only weeks old and the scabs on his shin from last weekend’s spectacular, unplanned scooter dismount. An incident made even more amazing immediately after the crash because of Archie’s expressed resolve not to cry, which of course started me crying. Archie was baffled. Smothered in my embrace he felt my hitching breaths and said,

“ Don’t cry Mum, I am really quite ok.”

Today Archie returned to school after lockdown. I missed him terribly. Archie of course was dying to go back and see Max and Jonathan and his other friends. He had a new game to play with them, something I had taught him during our supposed school time.

Archie picked up the concept of Knock Knock jokes quickly and we had spent a lovely hour giggling as we worked our way through some old favourites on the Internet. There are a number of theories about the origin of knock knock jokes. Some say they started with the porter scene in Shakespeare’s Macbeth, others claim they descended from the password routine used to identify friend or foe on the field of war. Archie was not interested in the origin. He just loved the concept and the way that a word or two could be delightfully and surprisingly twisted into a bad hilarious pun. For each joke his face would become serious when I said knock knock and he would reply louder and louder with each joke, “Who’s there?”

By the time the second “who” was coming out of his mouth a smile was pulling at his lips. By the end I hadn’t even said the punch line and he was giggling.

Archie decided that his personal favourite was

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Cow says.

Cow says who?

No, a cow says mooooo!

Closely followed by

Knock knock.

Who’s there?

Nana.

Nana who?

Nana your business!

Of course he could not wait to share his favourite and all the others as soon as he got to school.

Now home from school on day one he is bouncing from foot to foot, his eyes wide.

“Mum Mum, I have a new favourite Knock Knock. You want to hear it?”

He starts before I can even reply.

“Knock Knock”

“Who’s there?”  I reply.

“Iva”

I don’t answer. I know what’s coming. For a second I wonder why everything that is sweet and innocent is corrupted. I know it is part of life but it always seems to happen too soon. Obviously Archie knows that there is something naughty in this knock knock but of course he does not appreciate the full meaning of the double entendre. At least I hope he doesn’t. Besides, what choice do I have?

“Iva who?” I ask.

“IVA BIGUN!”  Archie triumphantly yells before roaring with laughter.

Photo by R.D. Smith on Unsplash